The extent of John Gray’s book was quickly defined as men and women are so different that the possibility of them communicating and listening to each other is rare. Kimmel’s counter argument is that communication can happen because men and women are more similar than they are different. I felt that Kimmel’s argument was more on target, one because I heard more of his side, but also because the points that he makes seemed to clarify my own failed conversations on gender
Talking about the women’s sexual revolution and how women are more entitled to talk about pleasure. Kimmel throws the fact that in 1975 40% of women would fake an orgasm where in 1995 less than 10% fake that orgasm. So there’s a change.
However, with that change I feel like there’s a generation gap between, not just men and women, but women of different generations. I know first hand that those conversations about sex can get really uncomfortable. I had been talking with a friend of mine, and she and I had been friend for a couple years so I didn’t think this conversation was too creepy. I told her (and bear with me on this), “I don’t think masturbations a bad thing. I do it and you probably do it yourself, right?” Awkward silence. Okay, she doesn’t like to talk about that. Then we go to a Spencer’s and I see her sexually curios side. I think that’s really confusing. The confusion may come from the different generations, the mother and grandmother, being raised in environments where conversations on sex were not okay. So the change in talking about pleasure is not just difficult for men to grasp, as Kimmel mentioned, but I also think there’s something going on with the women.
I agree with you about Kimmel's argument because it seemed to be pretty clear to me. I don't think women and men are too different just that the way we communicate makes understnading each other more difficult at times. I also agree that there are many differences between generations of women. However, I believe Kimmel does point that out saying the differences among generations of men and women are higher than the differences between men and women.
ReplyDeleteYes, and this is such an important point. The differences between men or the differences between women are greater than the differences between men and women. I think we need to have many more dialogues abut the differences we have with members of our own gender group. But, as Kimmel points out, there is a reason Gray is so incredibly popular: our culture seems to want a simplistic and crude portrait of men and women in relationships. What Gray sells is very palatable and appealing because it is does not require complex thinking. Think of all the comics who do a whole routine on: this is how men are; this is how women are. It isn't that they are neutrally describing a pre-existing reality, they are actively creating and perpetuating that reality through their language and their performances. This "social construction of reality" as Johnson terms it is something too many Americans are unwilling or uninterested in deconstructing.
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